Three years ago yesterday my meditation practice began. It hasn’t been the epitome of perfect, but what is?
If it was perfect would it mean as much to me as it does?
Would I have experienced as much growth as I feel that I have?
Little did I know it was the beginning of what I never knew I needed.
But what if we go back even further in time for just a minute? When I was a young girl I took up running. It was the first time I felt such a connection to my breath and realized how my breath was fuel for my body. That I had the power to control my breath, but at that age I could not comprehend the depth of that power, that ability.
At this current stage of life I cannot even recall what I use to think about when the word meditation was uttered, however, I am not even sure I can put into words what all it means to me now.
On February 7, 2016, I was a mother to a 1.5 year old little boy who was starting yoga teacher training with Soul Motivation Yoga School. I remember that day I was the either the first woman in that room to really introduce herself or I was just the first woman to cry during my introduction. I admitted to my Teacher and this brand new to me group of women that while I loved motherhood I did not love the anger I found within myself as a result. My ability to quickly turn my tone and feelings to anger was actually scary to me.
What I found in meditation was the ability to slow my breath.
The ability to quiet my mind.
The ability to find peace that transcended into my daily life.
Therefore, lessening the anger I had been experiencing.
Before I would finish my yoga teacher training in August of 2016, I would be pregnant with my second son. As I sit here reflecting on this anniversary of mediation for me I am 35 weeks pregnant with my third son.
What I am trying to tell you is quickly after developing a meditation practice I knew my meditation practice would be years away from fitting into a perfect box of getting up every single morning before anyone else in my house and getting that quiet meditation time in for the day.
In certain aspects of life I have a need for perfection and if I cannot do it the right way, well, then what is the point?
My ideal way to meditate has had to be altered because the practice itself is so incredibly beneficial to me, my life, and my family whether I do it first thing in the morning or squeeze it in during nap time or even the last thing I do before bed.
I am a better human because of meditation.
It has created an ability to open my heart even more.
To open my mind even more.
To find gratitude in not just the big things but the small things.
As humans we are forever changing and I want to keep growing. I want to be the best version of Beeper that I can be and meditation is one vital tool I use.
What daily activity has become a life changer for you?
